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  • Writer's pictureDesert Bloom Counseling

4 Reasons We Judge Others and How to Overcome It

From childhood, we're often taught the adage, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Yet, despite our best intentions, we frequently fall into the trap of judging others. So, why do we do it? Here are four common reasons why we judge others and some tips on how to break this habit.


1. It Makes Us Feel Superior


One of the primary reasons we judge others is to elevate ourselves. By harshly judging others, we create a comparison where we seem superior. However, this form of comparison is unhealthy and unproductive. Instead of finding faults in others, focusing on personal growth and self-improvement is a healthier approach.


2. It Helps Us Recognize Our Goals


Judging others can sometimes help us understand our own aspirations and things we want to avoid. When we form opinions about others, we identify traits we admire and those we dislike, helping us shape our own goals and values.


3. It Uncovers Our Own Faults


Often, the qualities that bother us in others are the ones we fail to acknowledge in ourselves. We criticize others' habits, appearances, or lifestyle choices because they mirror what we dislike in ourselves. Recognizing this can be a significant step towards self-improvement.


4. It Makes Us Feel Part of a Group


Sometimes, judging others can create a sense of belonging. For instance, in a work situation, one person's complaint might snowball into a group's shared negativity. While this can foster a sense of camaraderie, it often comes at the expense of others.


Breaking the Habit of Judgement


Recognizing our tendency to judge is the first step towards breaking this habit. Here are a few tips:


  • Empathize: Try to understand others' perspectives and why they might behave the way they do. Empathy can help reduce judgement.


  • Recognize Your Insecurities: Identify your own insecurities and work on improving them instead of criticizing others. Ask yourself, "Does their behavior mirror my own?"


  • Evaluate Your Associations: Examine your friendships and social circles. Are they based on positivity or demeaning others? If it's the latter, consider distancing yourself and focus on building connections rooted in positivity and mutual respect.


If you find that your tendency to judge others stems from low self-esteem, speaking with a therapist could be beneficial. They can help you understand the reasons behind your judgement and provide coping strategies.


Remember, everyone has their own journey, and understanding this can help us be less judgmental and more compassionate. If you or someone you know is interested in exploring treatment for judgement tendencies, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide the necessary guidance and support to help you navigate this journey.

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